Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Rest Home Care

The day has finally arrived when I have had to put my lovely husband into full time care.

He has been in the Respite Scheme for a few months and this involved 2 weeks in a Rest Home and 6 weeks at home with me but it has got to the stage where I needed it the other way around.

A couple of weeks ago I went to the Kamo Home and Village to see whether they had a vacancy and have a look at the facilities.  It is not as modern as where he was for respite but I have only heard good things about the care that is given there.  Originally I was told that there was a waiting list but after visiting I was told that someone was moving to Hospital level care and M. was able to have that bed.  It was only yesterday that I heard he could go in today.

He has actually deteriorated in the last fortnight and I have had some sleepless nights when he has had hallucinations or been up wanting middle of the night showers etc.  I have also not been able to leave him at all. On Friday I went into the garden for a few minutes and returned to find our new television lying on its back - it had been pulled off the table.  He didn't seem to know what he had done and, luckily, the t.v. still goes.

Only this morning, when he seemed quite good, I left the breakfast table for a minute only to return and discover he had reached across and taken my pills as well as his own.  Luckily, the G.P. says they won't do any harm.

All of this doesn't make it any easier and it was the hardest decision I have ever made.  He thinks he is still in the Respite Scheme and only going in for two weeks although, when we got to the door of the home he said "You are leaving me aren't you!!".

My only hope now is that he settles in and I am able to take him out for drives and possibly bring him home.

Anyway, after some very wet weather we have a lovely sunny day today.

Now I just need a lot of sleep and will have to go to the Social Security to find out how much I will get to live on as his Superannuation will go towards his Rest Home charges.

I know that things will eventually sort themselves out and I am lucky in that the family all support me.

Thanks to everyone who has been so supportive.


  1. A huge decision and oh so difficult. I remember when I had to do the same thing for my mum. Good for you. Now get some rest!

  2. We had to do this for my dad when he became a danger to himself and others. We, like you, had no choice, but it was so very, very hard. Having the support of your family is and will be the key for you to move forward. Take care of yourself now, I am sure he is in good hands.

  3. Dearest Susan,

    I'm sorry that this time has come. It's the best for both of you. I know how hard it's been for you and during his lucid moments - hard for him. It will be alright, it just takes a while. You get some rest and I will be thinking about you.

    Big Hug


  4. Oh Sue, I think you are in all our thoughts at this moment in time. Like Sharon says, you really do need to rest and like Arleen says - he's in good hands. Take care xxx

  5. Thanks to all of you. I just phoned and he had a good night and seems to be settling in. I have also heard that the Alzheimer's Club will pick him up once a week for the first four weeks to help him settle in. Going to Alzheimer's Club was his main concern.

    Now I just have to tell him it is permanent.

    I had a wonderful night's sleep and will get my hair cut today and go to the gym.

  6. Good plan regarding the haircut and the gym - it's important to look after yourself. As for your comment on my blog - the answer is New World! They have some excellent wine at good prices. Whoever does their wine buying knows their stuff.

  7. ((HUGS))) I've had to do this for my inlaws - that was hard. But a husband oooh this must break your heart.
    Love Leanne

  8. Hi, I am here after reading your name at Leanne's blog.Decisions like these are almost the hardest in a lifetime, I know 2 men who have had to do what you have, one cried all the way home, the next day visited and his wife was so happy there.The other couple, his wife feels she is at home.Be sure, you made the right choice,and in time your man will be so settled in he will feel that he is at home as well.There should be no guilt, you did it with love and care in your heart.And really your choice was the only one for you both.Take care of yourself, and I'm sure us bloggers will be watching for your posts to know you are OK as this is a new life for you as well.Fond greetings from Jean.