Sunday, April 1, 2012

A whole new way of life

It is hard to believe that it is five days since I took M. to the Rest Home.  I went in again on the following day as his room looked so bare with empty picture hooks on the walls so I made up a cork board with photos on it and also took in some watercolours that were still packed up following our move.

At reception I was told that he is telling everyone that I am overseas having taken all his money and am  having an affair    Sounds far too exhausting to me.  He was in the corridor when I went in and he told me that I have to get him out of there.  Not a good start and I was beginning to wish I hadn't gone in although I was pleased that I made his room look better.  (This constant fight between being rational and knowing I couldn't cope any more and the guilt feeling).

On Friday the Alzheimer's club picked him up for the day (they will do this for four days - 1 or 2 a week) to help with the transition.  Unfortunately, when he went to move from a chair to the window seat which was higher he slipped and hit his ear.  A lot of blood and bruising but when the nurse from the Home phoned she said it was nothing to worry about and, at least, it is them dealing with it and not me.  I will leave it for another week before I go back to see him.  This is what is suggested to help him settle and should be better for both of us (I hope).

For myself, I have been getting wonderful nights' sleep and sleeping in late (which is unusual for me) as well as having afternoon naps - or rather falling asleep when I put my feet up for a read.

On Wednesday I was too tired to go to the gym and just went for a short walk.  Thursday, a friend took me for my diabetic eye check as I had to have a driver.  We then went to visit a friend in hospital and to a cafe for lunch.

I also received the papers I need to sign for the financial side of things.  I was having trouble with it on Thursday night as they seemed to need papers that had vanished in our move so I got everything I could together and went in to the office of "Work and Income" on Friday.  The lady I saw was wonderful and I think it is all sorted - I hope to hear some time next week.

On Saturday, I just went for a walk up to Kamo shops and to the library and chatted to friends on the way back.  I bought a bacon hock for some soup, some of the butcher's wonderful bacon offcuts which are end piece of ham mainly.  I also bought some gluten free products, falafel mix, millet cereal which is a nice change to the oat porridge that I usually start the day with and buckwheat pancake mix.  I made the pancake mix up for afternoon tea and they were so delicious with butter and jam that I ate far too many, having already had some falafel for lunch.  At least I should be putting some weight back on.  (I can see me overdoing it and then having trouble losing it).

Today, I have been to the gym class that I used to attend when I was still able to either leave M. or take him with me.  It was great to catch up with everyone.  We put our clocks back last night so it gets light an hour earlier now.

Tomorrow, I will go on a walk with the Parkinson's group.  I am trying to get out with people as much as possible so that it doesn't give me time to worry about how M. is doing.

The cats, Kath and Kim are great company and I wake up to find one, or both, of them alongside me and, of course, if I go out in the garden they are always there.

The weather hasn't been too bad but it is starting to get colder hence the bacon hock.

I am feeling a lot more relaxed but a lot will depend on how M. settles in especially when he realises it is not just for a fortnight's respite.


  1. Your words tell me you are feeling a whole lot better about all things, and having time to yourself will be such a difference. My Mum-in-law lived with us for 8 years after Hugh's Dad died, he was also here. We had day care and some respite, but I felt I was always looking at my watch to be home in time, and time away had to be planned, and was so short. This year is so different,Hugh and I have had over 2 weeks away,and later this year hope to visit a friend at Tokerau Beach. If you send me either/or your email/phone number/address maybe we can meet up.Fond cheers from Jean.

  2. You sound so much better and it is good to hear that you are getting out and about.

    1. Yes, even though I am still exhausted and fighting the guilt feelings I do feel as though a weight has been lifted from me.