Inner Turmoil

I had been feeling guilty with M. now staying until next Friday at the Rest Home but had planned to have him home for lunch today.  I had bought a free range chicken when I thought he was coming home yesterday so at about 4 p.m. I put it in the oven.

Shortly after that I got a phone call from the Rest Home saying that M. had a high temperature and wanting his G.P.'s after hours phone number.  Our after hours service is White Cross Emergency Dept. so I was told I would have to take M. in there as they couldn't give him Paracetamol without a doctors' script even though I have some that were prescribed for him.

I turned off the oven and went to the Rest Home and the nurses got M. from the wheelchair into the car (it was now raining quite heavily).  I drove to White Cross and nurses helped me get him inside.  We waited for a couple of hours and then saw the doctor who couldn't find any cause for the high temps which had started to go down and said I could either take him to the Emergency Dept at the hospital or she would phone and see whether the Rest Home would take him back.

I didn't want to take him to the hospital if possible for both our sakes (It would most likely have meant 5 or so hours in emergency) and so drove him back to the Rest Home collecting the paracetamol prescription on the way.  It turns out that M. had been incoherent earlier in the day but the high temp had only started later on.

I visited him today and he was sitting in a wheelchair in the dining room having morning tea and seemed fine.  When I was going one of the nurses wheeled him down to the quiet lounge and we tried to get him into one of the easy chairs but when he stood his blood pressure dropped again and he slumped.  They checked him out and then put him on his bed to sleep it off.

All of this is not doing my nerves any good.  I am worried about how I will manage him if he is still like this at the end of the week.  Just when I thought things were starting to improve as I was getting more rested.  No gardening to relax me today just splitting firewood before I put the car back in the garage (the splitter is in the garage).

Oh well, Pilates tomorrow - I don't want to miss that.